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Ryan Gosling

#1: It’s entirely possible to walk around LA in daytime in a jacket increasingly coated in blood without any comment or intervention.

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#2: Talking is for losers. Real men communicate only through extended, uncomfortable staring. Rappers and auction hosts now command next to no respect from me.

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#3: Life-threatening knife-wounds to the stomach can be addressed simply by sitting in a car and revving the engine until the pain goes away. Perhaps that’s what’s going on in supermarket car-parks on friday nights.

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#4: A lot of cinema-goers will opt for a film based on the title alone. They will then feel very cheated when the title turns out to have been misleading. Turns out quite a few people were expecting a film called Drive to largely involve driving, the fools. Sample comment overhead on leaving:

Boy: So was there any of it you liked?

Girl: stays silent. Looks into the distance a little awkwardly. Probably goes home and cries for a while.

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#5: Amazingly, I’m not yet desensitised to film violence. Representations of a woman’s head exploding against a bathroom wall and a man’s head being stamped into mush still have some resonance. This is probably a good thing.

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#6: I much prefer Ryan Gosling when he’s either a heavily-bleeding sociopath or having a horrific relationship breakdown (Blue Valentine). He’s wasted as a love interest.

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#7: Drive makes The Fast and the Furious seem like a cartoon and Michael Bay a slightly retarded child.

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